


Eyes

by HomosexualDisaster



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) Actor RPF
Genre: Bullying, How Do I Tag, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Suicide Attempt, but im no poet, can you tell, everyone ends up happy, fluff bois, i suck at endings, its okay tho, its supposed to be like a poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18441218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomosexualDisaster/pseuds/HomosexualDisaster
Summary: Evan hated eyes.He hated everything about them.But how could he, when Connor made them feel so alive?





	Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 2 in the morning the night I got my concussion, so it obviously sucks. Please don't be too mean in the comments, I am trying my best.
> 
> On with the ((shitty)) poem!

Evan hated eyes.  
He hated everything about them.  
How they looked.  
How they could always show his feelings.  
How they always hurt when he cried.  
How they stopped working when he was having a panic attack.  
He hated them.  
Evan hated eyes.

Evan’s eyes are blue.  
A light, sky blue with hints of navy around the pupil, and teal around the edges.  
They lit up and sparkled when he was excited.  
No one ever saw. 

Evan’s eyes were red and puffy.  
They always did that when he cried.  
They would become strained from the tears, and he would rub them and make it worse.  
Evan hated when he cried, especially in front of others.  
And even if they didn’t see him cry,  
They knew.  
They could always tell.  
It’s always in the eyes.

Evan hated making eye contact.  
His head was always down in the hallway.  
What are you supposed to do when you make eye contact with someone?  
Smile?  
Wave?  
Say hello?  
All three?  
Evan didn’t know, and he thought he would never find out.  
He never made eye contact.

Heidi would always tell him,  
“Eyes are the window to the soul.”  
Usually followed by,  
“Look at me, Evan.”  
Evan never did.

He didn’t want his mom to know he was upset.  
He didn’t want anyone to know.  
He didn’t want his mom to know how he broke his arm.  
He didn’t want anyone to know.  
Then Evan met Connor.  
Connor’s eyes were brown.  
Evan never knew how beautiful brown could be.  
Connor’s eyes were filled with sadness.  
It broke Evan’s heart.  
Connor didn’t want to make eye contact, either.  
But when they did  
Evan never wanted to look away.  
So Connor did.

The next time their eyes met, Connor’s eyes were fearful,  
His gaze shifting uncontrollably.  
But when his eyes met Evan’s in the hallway  
They stopped.  
They stared.  
Evan looked away first this time, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed.

The next time Evan saw him was in the art room.  
He was looking for some paintbrushes and saw Connor in the corner,  
Sitting on a desk next to a window  
Scribbling something in a sketchbook.  
His eyes were focused.  
Evan didn’t say anything.  
When Connor looked up, he could have sworn he saw a flash of familiar blue..  
But no one was there.  
He looked back down at his drawing of the mysterious blue boy and smiled.  
Evan peeked back in the room.  
Connor’s eyes were happy.

Connor was the first one to speak.  
He had found the strange blue boy in the hallway.  
His eyes were fearful, and sad.  
The other boys in the hallway looked angry.  
They looked powerful.  
They looked like the were about to hit Evan.  
Connor stared as one boy raised his fist.  
So Connor hit first. 

Evan’s eyes were closed.  
There was yelling.  
Lots of yelling.  
He heard Connor’s voice.  
“You stay away from him! Or I’ll do it again!”  
Do what again?  
Oh yes, Evan remembered. Connor hit that boy.  
Connor saved you.  
Connor.  
Talk to Connor.

“Hey, um… are you alright?” 

Evan looked up.  
Right into Connor’s eyes.  
Evan knew he was scared.  
Evan knew he was upset.  
Evan knew Connor would see.  
But he didn’t care.  
As long as he got to see Connor.  
Connor.  
Talk to Connor.

“I.. I’m fine. H.. How… How are you?”

Connor laughed, but his eyes stayed angry and worried.  
“Dude, you just almost got beat up!”  
Evan laughed too, shallowly.  
“It wouldn’t be the first time they hit me.”  
Connor’s eyes darkened.  
Nothing else was said as the helped the mysterious blue boy back to his feet, only to notice the white cast encasing his left arm.  
Evan looked down.  
“No one signed your cast.”

Connor waited for a response he never got.  
He pulled out a marker from his backpack and carefully took the boy’s hand.  
Evan was surprised at how gentle his touch was.  
He closed his eyes.  
When Evan opened his eyes again, the name “CONNOR” was written across his cast  
In black marker  
And his hand  
Was still intertwined with Connor’s.

The mysterious blue boy smiled.  
His eyes were happy, too.  
Connor felt like he was falling.

He pointed at the cast on Evan’s arm.  
“Did they do this to you?”  
Evan almost laughed.  
“No, no, I-”  
He hesitated.  
“I fell.”  
Evan could tell Connor didn’t believe him.  
His eyes lowered, focusing on the floor under his shaky legs.  
Connor lifted his head back up,  
One finger resting under Evan’s chin.  
“No. I see you. You did not fall.”  
Evan’s eyes began to water.

“Oh, shit, wait, no no no no no I’m so sorry.”  
Connor rambled uselessly while Evan tried to dry his eyes.  
Surprisingly, Evan appreciated the attempt.  
He leaned into Connor’s chest, curling closer to the warmth.  
Connor froze.  
His arms found their way around the smaller boy’s frame.  
“Hi. My name is Connor.”  
“I’m Evan. You’re warm…” Evan mumbled.  
“Evan…” Connor whispered. “I’ll take you home. Come on.”  
As the two made their way out of the school, Connor leaned down to Evan’s ear.  
“By the way,” he whispered. “You have very pretty eyes.”

Evan never hid his eyes again.

Not when Connor made them feel so alive.

**Author's Note:**

> alksalkfldfhlas what was that ending I'm so sorry.
> 
> Anyways, kudos and comments are loved, as always! See you next time.


End file.
